Love Language

Written by Stacey Buttel – Career Facilitator

My best friend has a new boyfriend.  And not only is this a new boyfriend, this is the one….the last one….the one she has been waiting for….blah.  It is all so truly Hallmark Channel movie.  On one of their first dates, I swore they were going to have their first kiss under the Christmas lights at Columbus Commons while snow was gently falling and there just so happens to be a small gathering of Christmas carolers nearby while reindeer slowly pass and admire the two love birds.  Hallmark.  Ugh.  I can’t stand it.  Not my style.  After a particularly nauseating phone call about the new boy and some romantic dinner or gesture or whatever was happening once again, my best friend sensing me rolling my eyes finally stated “Stacey, we just don’t speak the same love language” and promptly ended the call.  While I was fine with that conversation being terminated, I immediately called my on again, off again boyfriend (currently off again) and asked him point blank “what is my love language?”  After a brief moment of silence (of which I am sure he was trying to figure out where this line of questioning was going and how he was going to catch or dodge the curve ball that I was pitching in his general direction) and my brief explanation of the background story, he stated “your love language is wings, beer, sports, and trivia, sometimes not necessarily in that order.”  Satisfied with that answer (and after I may have heard a sigh of relief from said off again boyfriend of being currently marked safe from my current line of inquiry), I hung up and pondered.  Why haven’t wings been a part of my dinner consumption within the past week?  And how do we discover, connect, respect, and most of all speak each other’s love language?

And what does love language have to do with workforce development?  After reflection, I believe it has a lot to do with it and how we choose our path in life.  We all have different views of the world in front of us and how we choose to interact with it.  Our passions drive our intentions.  How can we truly be engaged in a dynamic and fulfilling career path if it doesn’t match our love language?  How do we identify our love language?  I believe that is simple.  Take a look around and discover what makes you happy.  What are the qualities of the experiences that you most enjoy?  Now, transfer those qualities into your career path.  Do they match?  Are the same things that you enjoy in your personal life present in your work life?  If not, why?  In order to have a fulfilling total existence in life, I believe your personal love language needs to also reflect your career love language.  Your same interests and passions personally also need to be infused in some way in your career.  Do you like being around people and helping others?  Perhaps find a career that allows you to do the same.  Are you an introvert and prefer solving problems on your own?  I am sure that there is a career out there that would allow you to thrive using those strengths.  Strive to work in a career that also reflects the things you hold most valuable in your personal life.  Find that career that speaks to your love language.  Now, where is the nearest BW-3s?

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